It’s funny that last Sunday at our church service, our pastor shared about the unexpected birth of Jesus Christ and how it was unexpected. He used the book title What to Expect When You're Expecting as a bit of a parallel for the message.
And now it’s less than 24 hours in my part of Australia that we will experience a natural disaster. A cyclone, no doubt. One we decided to name Alfred. Funny that we are now expecting something a little unexpected.
There are a lot of things people think about when they hear of a natural disaster. For some, its sheer panic about what will happen. For others they are already tying down furniture, moving cars undercover and other precautions.
Despite not being too anxious about this event, I still packed a bag that I could throw in the car if we needed to drive somewhere. However, I don’t always get the timing right, and the word is not to drive in the rushing winds or pelting rain. My son got a little worried about his toys that would get ruined during the cyclone, so my suggestion was for him to pack a bag of anything he wanted to keep or take with him if we had to leave. This worked and allowed the fear to dissolve.
No one truly knows the impact this cyclone will have. Some aren’t worried about the heavy waves at the beach and are risking a broken spinal cord for a big surf. Some are still going about doing things like there is no impending disaster. It’s like my city is going through a false sense of security. The city south of us filmed the grey sky that they witnessed and the flooding around their homes. We are on edge but not at the same time.
The time I’ve had at home and off work has been interesting. There’s only so much you can do when you are warned to stay home and everything is shut. It’s as if we stepped back into 2020, when the pandemic was on our doorstep. But this time, it is for a few days and not weeks/months. In some ways, I’ve tried to make the most of the time. We did reading as advised for homework, watched a few things on Disney Plus, and even painted a couple of little pictures.
Also, the slowing down of life for this cyclone has meant that one may have more time to think. For whatever reason, a lot of the suppressed anger I had at the way I was treated during my childhood to teenage years rose and has given me a slight feeling of resentment.
Why weren’t my feelings considered when I was growing up?
Why did I have to do so much housework while my step brothers got away with doing little?
How come my trauma was diminished by my family, yet my brother’s wasn’t?
These were a few of the questions I have had in the back of my mind. I don’t have all the answers. The facts I do know are that the narrative my brain has created isn’t completely correct.
My parents did the best they could. They faced their traumas in whatever way they had to.
My trauma was acknowledged by others, including my current therapist.
Just because my feelings were diminished doesn’t mean I have to do that to my child, partner, or someone else.
So, rather than dwell on these things, I want to reflect on them as they arise, process them somehow, and find a way to continuously forgive, even if it takes a bit of time.
In the next 24 hours, my city will be in a cyclone. We feel as prepared as we can be and just wait for the hour of reckoning. Hopefully, it stays Category 2, and people don’t lose their homes or lives. Prayer will be needed as well as wisdom and discernment for all.
I’ll let you know how we go.